How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

Do you believe that frequent fighting, or the topics of your fights, can influence your physical health? Wrong, says new research. Turns out it’s really how you fight, and how you react to and resolve conflict, that matters. And, the impact on your physical health varies dramatically, depending on whether you’re a man or a woman.

One fighting style in particular garnered special attention. So-called “self-silencing” – keeping quiet during a fight – is especially damaging to women’s health, whereas bottling it up did not have a measurable impact on the physiology of men.

A study of nearly 4,000 men and women from Framingham, Mass. revealed that 32 percent of men, and 23 percent of women typically kept their feelings bottled up during marital spats. Women who didn’t speak their minds in those fights were four times more likely to die during the 10-year study period as women who always spoke their minds.

In fact, self-silencing takes a surprising physical toll on women. Other studies have linked the trait to numerous psychological and physical health risks, including:

• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Heart disease
  

Additionally, the way you interact during marital arguments is as important a heart risk factor as whether you smoke or have high cholesterol, says Timothy W. Smith, a psychology professor at the University of Utah.

For women, whether a husband’s arguing style is warm or hostile had the biggest impact on her heart health. Interestingly, the level of warmth or hostility had no impact on men’s heart health. Instead, the men’s heart risk increased if disagreements with his wife involved a battle for control – regardless of whether he, or his wife, was the one vying for control.
Psychosomatic Medicine July 18, 2007; 69(6):509-13

Is Gluten From Grains Making You Sick?

NewsTarget.com
Published October 15 2007 by Leslee Dru Browning

Gluten Intolerance, also known as Celiac Disease, was once thought to be a rare genetic disorder until 2003 when it was discovered that it is, indeed, quite common. Where once gluten intolerance was thought to affect 1 in 4000 people it is now thought to affect 1 in 133 and researchers expect that number to drop even lower. Yet, even with this new discovery many people in America are going undiagnosed.

Celiac disease is an inherited disease of the digestive system that damages the villi in the small intestine causing chronic inflammation rendering it unable to digest foods. The villi enables food digestion. The damage to the villi is caused by the protein gluten found in the following grains: wheat, rye, barely. Some gluten intolerant people are also sensitive to oats and millet. Many with gluten sensitivity are also allergic to milk.

When people with celiac disease eat grains that contain gluten their immune system responds by damaging the small intestine which, over time, causes malnutrition due to malabsorption of nutrients. Malabsorption can cause someone to appear anorexic, but also, obese. I found that many of my patients who were obese and complained of hunger were actually hungry. Once they embarked on a gluten-free diet to heal the small intestine their hunger cravings subsided and they lost their excess weight. Being too thin or too heavy is just one of many reasons to be tested for gluten-intolerance.

Symptoms of Gluten Intolerance:
Gluten Intolerance can cause an array of symptoms. It affects each person differently.

• Common complaints are behavioral changes
• bone or joint pain
• fatigue
• pale, foul-smelling, or fatty stool
• inability to gain weight
• muscle cramps and muscle weakness
• stomach problems
• tingling and numbness in legs from nerve damage.

Reviews of celiac disease in the world's leading independent general medical journal Lancet lists the following known problems associated to gluten when celiac disease is not diagnosed:Lancet 1997:349:1755Lancet 2003:362:383·:

Alopecia (abnormal hair loss)· Anemia· Mouth sores· Arthritis· Autoimmune diseases, glandular disorders or attacks on any organs are 10X more common in people with celiac· Cancers (especially of the small bowel, lymphomas, esophageal)· Dermatitis herpetiformis (a itchy skin rash)· Elevated liver enzymes tests· Gastroesophageal reflux (GERD)· Gastrointestinal symptoms (abdominal discomfort, diarrhea, constipation)· Infertility or miscarriage· Irritable bowel syndrome· Lactose intolerance· Liver disease of unknown origin· Malabsorption of nutrients & nutritional deficiency such as iron, folic acid, calcium, magnesium and fat soluble vitamins· Neurological symptoms such as peripheral neuropathy, ataxia, epilepsy, cognitive dysfunction.· Osteoporosis or osteopenia, check vitamin D level for malabsorption·

PsoriasisDisease Linked to Celiac Disease:People with celiac disease tend to have other autoimmune diseases. These diseases include epilepsy, thyroid disease, systemic lupus erythematosis, type 1 diabetes, vascular disease, rheumatoid arthritis and Sjogren’s syndrome. A diagnosis of multiple sclerosis has sometimes been given when in fact the person had celiac disease. Gluten may be the underlying causes of these autoimmune disorders.

How is Celiac Disease Diagnosed? Years ago the only way to diagnose celiac disease was with a small bowel biopsy but today it can be diagnosed with simple blood tests that measure antibodies to gluten. Antibodies are proteins that react against the body. Those with celiac disease have high levels of antibodies to gluten in their blood. For the test to be accurate you must continue to eat grains containing gluten until you are tested. If not, the test results may be negative even if have celiac disease.

What is the Treatment? The treatment does not involve medication. Instead, you simply must follow a gluten-free diet.For most people, following a gluten-free diet, will stop symptoms and heal intestinal damage. It will also prevent further damage. Noticeable improvements usually begin within a week of starting the diet but the small intestine may take anywhere from 3 to 6 months in mild cases and up to 2 years in severe cases to completely heal so that villi that can absorb nutrients from food into the bloodstream.

The Gluten-free DietA gluten-free diet means not eating foods that contain wheat (including spelt, triticale, teff, and kamut), rye, barley and oats. The foods and products made from these grains are also not allowed therefore food label reading is a must. Hidden sources of gluten include food additives such as modified food starch, preservatives, and stabilizers along with medicines, anti-acids, vitamins, supplements and beverages. People with celiac disease can eat rice, soy, amaranth, quinoa, potato, or bean flour instead of wheat flour.

Grocery and health food stores now offer gluten-free bread, pasta, and other products. Gluten-free products are available on-line from many sources.In order to stay healthy people with celiac disease must avoid gluten for the rest of their lives. Eating any gluten, no matter how minute an amount, can damage the small intestine.

Web References:Excellent site for information on celiac disease. What to eat and where to purchase gluten- free foods:Celiac Disease and Gluten-free Diet Information at http://www.celiac.com/ Foods that are safe for celiacs to eat and those that are not are listed at http://www.celiac.com/st_main.html?p_catid=12 Information on the FDA’s new position on gluten-labeling can be found at Food Navigator: http://www.foodnavigator-usa.com/news/ng.asp?n=80101&m=1FNU926&c=rmgrxyuscipjdni

Book Reference: Living Gluten-Free for DUMMIES by Danna Korn

About the author: Leslee Dru Browning is a 6th generation Medical Herbalist & Nutritionist from the ancestral line of Patty Bartlett Sessions; Pioneer Mid-Wife & Herbalist. Leslee practiced Medical Herbalism and Nutritional Healing for over 25 years and specialized in Cancer Wellness along with Chronic Illness. She now devotes her career to teaching people, through her writing, about Natural Healing from An Herbal Perspective.

Safe Natural Alternative to Commercial Laundry Detergents

NewsTarget.com
May 30 2007
Revolutionary laundry soap product grows on trees, replaces laundry detergent with eco-friendly solution by Mike Adams. I've discovered an amazing new product that replaces commercial laundry detergents with a natural soap that literally grows on trees!

This is a very big deal because the laundry room is one of the most toxic rooms in the home of a typical consumer. Commercial laundry detergents, fabric softeners and dryer sheets contain alarmingly high levels of toxic chemicals well known to cause cancer, liver disorders, neurological disturbances and hormone disruption. I still haven't figured out why so many people actually wash their clothes in these dangerous chemicals and then wear them around all day, allowing the chemicals in the clothes to penetrate their skin and enter their bloodstream where they cause serious harm.

Even worse, all those toxic chemicals get flushed downstream where they contribute to the mass killing of fish and ocean ecosystems, including all the various life forms that depend on the fish (such as birds). We're offering a rediscovered natural product -- "Soap Nuts!" -- right now at http://www.betterlifegoods.com/

What if there were a natural laundry soap that actually grew on trees and could replace commercial detergents for good?It sounds too good to be true, but in fact, it's real. For the past two months, I've been washing all my own clothes with this simple, natural laundry soap that's been used in India for centuries, and I've never felt happier (or more environmentally conscious) about my laundry.Here's the story about the natural laundry detergent that literally grows on trees.

The soap that grows on trees across the jungles of India and Indonesia, a surprisingly practical tree called sapindus mukorrosi grows a small fruit surrounded by a firm outer shell, much like a lychee or rambutan. This tree, also called the Chinese Soapberry Tree, is unique in the fact that it synthesizes its own natural soap-like saponins that coat the shell of the fruit. When the fruits ripen and fall from the tree, local families harvest the windfall, then remove the inner fruit from the outer shell. The shell is then dried in the sun, using absolutely no chemical processing or manufacturing processes. In fact, the whole process uses no fossil fuels either, except in the transportation of the product to the western world (which is efficiently accomplished by ship).It is this outer shell -- rich in natural saponins which act as water surfactants -- that the native families in India have used for centuries to wash their own clothes. They toss 2-3 shells into a small burlap bag and work it in with their laundry (which is usually washed by hand, by the way).

The soap nuts, as they're now called (even though they have no relation to actual nuts), absorb water and release their saponins which circulate as a natural surfactant in the wash water, reducing the surface tension of the water and freeing dirt, grime and oils from the clothing. When the clothes are rinsed, the soap nut saponins are washed downstream where they remain harmless to the environment. No synthetic chemicals, no fragrance chemicals, no foaming agents or other toxins. Just nut shells grown by nature.

Soap nuts can replace all brand-name detergents. Even though these soap nuts have been used for hundreds of years in India and Indonesia, they're barely known in the western world where brand-name chemical detergents are heavily marketed to consumers through advertising, coupons and in-store displays. Packed in eye-catching boxes and scented with artificial fragrance chemicals, these synthetic detergents are literally scooped up by tens of millions of consumers who have no idea they're bathing their clothes in cancer-causing chemicals while destroying the environment by flushing dangerous chemicals downstream.

Until now, there have been few options for eco-conscious consumers. While an increasing number of eco-friendly manufactured laundry products now exist in the marketplace (such as Seventh Generation and Biokleen brands), no natural laundry product has appeared in the western world that is 100% manufactured directly by nature. And many of the so-called "natural" laundry products are still made with fragrance chemicals, anyway. When I first saw these soap nuts, I got really excited about the possibility of publicizing an eco-friendly solution that could replace all the manufactured laundry products currently being bought by consumers.

When you purchase these soap nuts and put them to use, you're not only protecting your health and the environment, you're also supporting the families in India and Indonesia that sustainably harvest these nuts as a way of life.

This is the "miracle" laundry product made by Mother Nature that I've been looking for. It's made by a tree, with absolutely nothing added or taken away (except the fruit, of course). It's natural through and through. No other laundry product even comes close. Maggie's Soap Nuts replace both laundry detergent and fabric softener, by the way. They leave your clothes clean, unscented and feeling cozy soft. It's the first laundry product I've ever found that I was truly happy with. This is what I'm now washing all my clothes with.

But do the soap nuts really work? Of course, any skeptical consumer would be asking one question right now: "Do these soap nuts really work?"I was skeptical, too, that a soap nut grown by a tree in India could really replace my high-tech eco-friendly laundry soap made in America. So I bought a box of Maggie's Soap Nuts and tried them myself. I took 3 soap nuts and dropped them into the small cotton bag that comes in each box of Maggie's Soap Nuts, then I tossed them into my laundry and avoided using any other detergents or laundry products. I set the temperature on warm and gave it a normal wash cycle, then I hit the start button and walked away. An hour later, I returned and examined the finished load. They sure smelled clean. Over the next few days, I continued washing more loads with the soap nuts. Every load came out clean, yet unscented (just the way I like it). I washed grimy socks, workout pants, hiking shorts and sweaty underwear, and everything was cleaned to my satisfaction.

In other words, Maggie's Soap Nuts really clean your clothes just as good as commercial soap products! I remain convinced that these tree-grown soap nuts are just as good as any other soap products on the market. One thing I did learn in all this, however, was that you probably shouldn't wash bedsheets with these soap nuts. What happened? In my wash, the small cotton bag holding the soap nuts got wrapped up in the sheet, and the soap nuts soaked the sheet with a slight soap nut color (sort of rust colored). This color came out in the next wash, because it's not a permanent stain or anything, but it taught me that for the soap nuts to be really effective, they needed to be able to circulate freely in the laundry and not get caught in a large bedsheet. Aside from the bedsheet incident, everything else came out of the wash sqeaky clean!

How soap nuts clean your laundry? The process by which soap nuts clean your clothes is naturally quite simple. The soap nut shell contains a natural saponin that works as a surfactant, making your water "wetter" and allowing it to penetrate the fibers of your clothing, working away the dirt and grime that makes clothes dirty. The surfactant then holds on to the dirt, keeping it in suspension in the water until it's drained away, taking the dirt with it. What's left is a load of clean clothes and nothing else! That's the way laundry should be. Much like clean water, clean laundry should NOT contain toxic chemical residues. In fact, it's more important to consider what laundry products do NOT contain than to look at what they do contain.

What Maggie's Soap Nuts do NOT contain include:• Foaming chemicals that fool consumers into thinking their clothes are cleaner because there are "suds" in the wash. TRUTH: Suds have nothing to do with cleaning. They are chemical additives used to create the illusion of cleaning action. (Silly consumers actually expect suds, so the manufacturers add them in.)• Fragrance chemicals that make laundry "smell" clean.

Most commercial laundry products use toxic, synthetic fragrance chemicals that are, in fact, well known to promote cancer and liver disorders. Laundry products are not really regulated by any single government agency, and there is currently no law banning the use of known cancer-causing chemicals in laundry products (much like with cosmetics).• Filler ingredients. Nearly all commercial laundry products are made with at least 50% filler ingredients to "bulk them up" and make them appear to deliver more value for the price. Consumers are mostly just buying the illusion of detergent, made mostly with filler.

You won't find filler or toxic chemicals in Maggie's Soap Nuts. Just pure, natural saponins grown by a tree and engineered by nature. In my opinion, that's where more of our products should ultimately come from. Wouldn't it be great if shampoo also grew on trees? Actually, it does.
more than just laundry soap. The natural saponins found in Maggie's Soap Nuts are universal cleaning agents. Sure, they work great in the laundry, but did you know they are also traditionally used to clean skin and hair? In fact, the soap nut saponins work on everything from pets and children to washing fruits and vegetables.

In ancient India, jewelers even used the soap to shine their precious metals and stones, giving them a beautiful natural luster. By the way, all children's clothes should be washed in these soap nuts to avoid exposing infants and children to the toxic chemicals found in commercial laundry products. And while you're at it, why not save yourself from that exposure, too, by washing your own clothes with nature's laundry soap?

Using Maggie's Soap Nuts, you can make your own ultra-pure multipurpose cleaner. Here's the recipe: Simmer 1 cup of soap nuts in 4 cups of water on your stove, then allow the liquid to cool. Mash the soap nuts by hand (squish them around to get out all the saponins), then drain the resulting liquid through a cheese cloth or nut milk bag. Voila! You've got a concentrated cleaner made by nature! Use it around the kitchen, in the shower, washing the dog... it's all good. You can even use it to wash your dishes.Remember: This natural soap isn't going to foam up like phoney cleaning products made by chemical companies, and it sure doesn't smell like fragrance chemicals. So don't expect it to look or smell like the products you might have been using. However, soap nuts get things really clean.

The soap works so well that it's actually being studied right now as a way to decontaminate soils from exposure to toxic chemicals. How's that for a natural solution? Nature's soap can save the planet from man's soap.

The bottom line: Nature's replacement for manufactured soap products. How much do soap nuts cost? The price of using these soap nuts in your laundry is well under fifty cents a load (U.S.), making it quite comparable to other eco-friendly laundry products. It's not as cheap as dumping foaming chemicals into your laundry, but then again, if you're the kind of person reading this website, you're probably far more concerned about saving your health than saving a quarter on a load of toxic laundry. Isn't it good to know that you can protect your health and protect the planet as the same time?

Lead in Some Lipsticks

No Smiling Matter: There Really Is Lead in Some Lipstick


Toys made in China aren’t the only products laced with dangerous heavy metals: lipsticks manufactured in the United States and used daily by millions of American women also contain surprisingly high levels of lead, according to new product tests just released by the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics.


The lead tests were conducted by an independent laboratory in September on lipsticks bought in Boston, Hartford, Conn., San Francisco and Minneapolis. More than half of the 33 brand-name lipsticks tested contained detectable levels of lead, with levels ranging from 0.03 to 0.65 parts per million (ppm).


One-third of the tested lipsticks exceeded the FDA guideline for lead in candy, 0.1 ppm, established to reduce lead exposure among children. Even though lipstick products, like candy, are directly ingested and absorbed into the body, the FDA has not set a limit for lead in lipstick. It’s part of a disturbing pattern of lax safety standards in the $50 billion personal care products industry.


Among the leading brands found to contain lead were:

• L’Oreal Colour Riche “True Red” – 0.65 ppm

• L’Oreal Colour Riche “Classic Wine” – 0.58 ppm

• Cover Girl Incredifull Lipcolor “Maximum Red” – 0.56 ppm

• Christian Dior Addict “Positive Red” – 0.21 ppm


Lead is a proven neurotoxin that can cause learning, language and behavioral problems such as lowered IQ, reduced school performance and increased aggression. It has also been linked to infertility and miscarriage. Pregnant women and young children are particularly vulnerable to lead exposure because lead easily crosses the placenta and can interfere with fetal brain development.


One-third of the lipsticks tested had no detectable amount of lead, so lead-free lipstick is possible. And, the amounts of lead in the lipsticks tested didn’t correlate with the price of the product, so we know that manufacturing lipstick without lead doesn’t break the bank.

Compact for Safe Cosmetics http://www.safecosmetics.org/

Best Tummy-Soothing Teas

Mark A. Stengler, ND
La Jolla Whole Health Clinic

Herbal teas are great for digestive symptoms, but which tea is best for which symptoms?

Abdominal cramps and ulcers: Chamomile tea. Its essential oils are anti-inflammatory and antispasmodic. Chamomile calms the nervous system, so it is good for digestive symptoms linked to stress.

Gas (flatulence): Fennel tea. Use when gas occurs after meals. Interestingly, fennel was once used in the US as a drug for the treatment of indigestion.

Bloating: Gingerroot tea. It also can help with gas, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting and morning sickness.

Irritable bowel syndrome (characterized by alternating constipation and diarrhea): Peppermint tea. It also can help with cramps, gas and bloating. Peppermint can aggravate heartburn (acid reflux) in some people, so go easy at first.

If you frequently have digestive upset: Try one-half to one cup of tea just before each meal or with meals. For occasional upset, drink a cup as needed to reduce the symptoms. Tea bags work as well as loose tea -- use organic, if possible.

"Vicki’s Flash Pops" for hot flashes

"Vicki’s Flash Pops" are a deliciously soothing Ice Cold fruit beverage, designed specifically for women experiencing hot flashes during perimenopause, menopause and post menopause. Vicki’s Flash Pops are also helpful during menstrual cycles. There is a unique combination of Fruit, Black Cohosh, Vitex, and Stevia found in Vicki’s Flash Pops. The tasty beverage delivers immediate relief from hot flashes and over time decreases the intensity of hot flash occurrences.

Today over 51 million women each year enter the "change of life" cycle and 80-85% of them experience Hot Flashes. That means over 48 million American women suffer from these untimely and uncomfortable flashes. We are confident that you will be pleased with your individual results. The average age for women entering "Change of Life" is 48 years old. However, perimenopause may begin 10 years earlier.

Sexual Desire

SEXUAL DESIRE
What if I just don't feel like it?
Our society puts tremendous pressure on us to be sexual.
Television and movies convince us that unless we have wild passionate rip-your-clothes-off sex in odd or unusual places at least weekly (preferably several times daily), we must have some sexual hang-up. Living with the Madison Avenue image of what is beautiful leaves most of us with some significant insecurity about our bodies. We doubt that anyone could find us desirable because we are not among the "beautiful people." The body changes, pain, and fatigue associated with illness can zap sexual desire further. Anxiety, depression or the medications used to control those conditions can decrease one's libido. Also, antihypertensives, ulcer medications, and others may have similar effects.

What if I just don't feel like it? What is normal sexual desire?
Daily sex is normal. Sex once a month is normal. So the concept of normal is not very important, or very helpful. The real issue is often a significant difference in basic sexual desire between two partners. While you may at times choose to accommodate your partner's greater desire out of love and caring, giving in when you really do not want to is likely to lead to increasing resentment which ultimately can sabotage the relationship. Sexual desire changes, from day to day and from year to year (remember the first year of any intimate relationship!). If your desire is lower now than previously, there are things you can do to change that.

So what can I do about it?
1. Address unresolved power struggles in your relationship.
When a lack of communication has left one or both partners with built up resentment, it is very difficult for them to have enough trust and security with one another that they are willing to risk being sexual together. Sex is simply communication, but it is the most intimate and complex form of communication. If the partners are not talking openly, negotiating needs, and resolving conflicts productively, there is no reason to expect that they can have a satisfying intimate relationship. Unexpressed feelings usually get expressed in the bedroom.

When we feel powerless, we will take whatever steps we know to take our control back. While most people see control as being demanding and forceful, the other powerful way of exerting control is to be passive and withholding. One striking way to do that is to withhold your sexuality from your partner. This often leaves the partner feeling inadequate and impotent. If you believe that expressing your anger may threaten your security, you may feel afraid to confront problems, which ultimately leads to increasing resentment. Withholding your sexuality is one powerful way to express your anger, without having to confront issues directly. The problem is that the real issues never get addressed nor resolved, and your partner is left feeling confused and inadequate.

2. Tend to your pain. Discuss your pain with your medical caretakers. Find out if there are any more effective medical treatments for your symptoms. If your are experiencing sexual side effects from your medications, don't just discontinue them. Discuss the problem with your medical professionals. Don't accept painful sex as normal. There are many potential causes which can be readily treated. If you experience problems with vaginal dryness, try one of the many lubricants on the market, with great names like Astro-Glide, Aqua Lube, Lubrin, or Replens (avoid sticky water-based products or petroleum-based products).

3. Open the lines of communication with your partner. Be open and direct. State your feelings and ask for what you want. Don't assume you know what your partner is feeling, even if you've been together for years. Listen actively, by paying attention, responding to comments, and asking questions for clarification. The best way to change your sexual relationship is to talk to one another about what you would like to see happen. Good sex takes two, and both of your needs and desires are important. But given that this is such a complex form of communication, you can get in trouble if you try to mind read. Contrary to what the movies lead us to believe, talking during sex is not only ok, it's generally necessary.

4. Plan ahead for good sex. If you use medications to control your pain, time them so that you are likely to feel better when you have sex. Likewise, time a hot bath or soak in the hot tub to maximize your relaxation, and minimize the level of pain. Make massage a part of your physical closeness. Make it a priority to spend time with your partner. If you don't plan it and schedule it, it is likely to be superseded by any of a dozen different obligations. Spontaneity is exciting, but not necessary for good sex. And if you continue to struggle with the intimate part of your relationship, seek help. Take a class on couples' communication, buy a book or video on relationship issues, or seek the help of a professional marriage counselor or psychologist.

5. Nurture yourself. It's easier to feel sexy if you feel attractive. Give yourself time and permission to pamper yourself and take care of your appearance. Shower, use lotion or scent, wear attractive clothing. Think of what things your partner does that please you, and try to do those for your partner. You can enhance your body image and your functioning by doing regular exercise to increase your strength, stamina, flexibility, and self-esteem.

6. Be creative. Sex is not an Olympic event. There are many wonderful ways to be sexual without actual intercourse. Touch and cuddling are a very important part of feeling close. Too often couples develop some conflict leading to difficulties with sex, and then they avoid cuddling for fear it will lead one person to believe it is a prelude to sex. It's important for women to know that a man's erection is a compliment...not a demand. And remember, one person declining sexual contact is not a rejection of their partner; it is a statement of what is going on with them at the time.

There are things that may increase desire levels. Sexual fantasy, or erotic stories, magazines, or movie scenes often trigger increased arousal. Sex in a new setting, a romantic atmosphere, new positions, oral sex, or use of vibrators may decrease boredom and stimulate arousal. Also, pay attention to times and situations when your desire is higher, and don't be afraid to experiment with what you've learned. But remember that good sex in a relationship takes two, and it's counterproductive to try to force someone to do something they just aren't comfortable with.

If you experience muscle pain or stiffness during intercourse, experiment with different positions. The Arthritis Foundation publishes a wonderful free leaflet called Living and Loving: Information About Sexuality and Intimacy which describes alternatives to traditional positions.
Also, let yourself consider alternatives for sexual intercourse. There are many ways to pleasure one another (or yourself) without intercourse. Manual and oral sex can be fulfilling alternatives. And there are times when you feel sexual and there is no partner around, or times when only one of you desires sex. Masturbation is a normal, healthy, and satisfying form of sexual activity. You can learn a lot about your body, what feels good, and what leads you to orgasm. It may increase the pleasure you experience during sex with a partner, and will help you put into words, or actions, what you would like your partner to do. Many people experience pleasure by using a vibrator specifically made for sexual stimulation (available in adult stores or by mail order). It's time to bring masturbation out of the bathroom and the back bedroom, and into healthy sexual relationships, with a partner or by yourself.

In summary: Building a solid relationship, which requires time together, caring, respect, and open communication, will be the most powerful tool to increase your level of sexual desire. Sex is the most intimate and most complex form of communication. Unfortunately, many of us were raised with very rigid and Victorian views of sexuality and what sexual behavior is acceptable. But those views were learned; and they can be unlearned. It takes time, open-mindedness, and a willingness to experiment with new behaviors. Good luck, and enjoy the journey.

By: Connie A. O'Reilly, Ph.D.Clinical Psychologist Oregon Fibromyalgia Team

After trying all of the commercial lubrications on the market, we have found Emu Oil to be our favorite and closest thing to natural.